On Not Writing: Why I Took A Step Back
Is this thing on?
No, really, are you guys still here?
I appreciate that. Truly.
So, my last post was April 2nd. That wasn't the last time I actually opened up my site and started to write something but it was the last time I pushed published. See when I started on this quest to write for myself full-time, I really didn't know what to expect. I didn't know if it would be more of a hobby---something I just popped in to do from time to time---or if it would turn into a way to eat. Somehow, it turned into a little of both. But more than anything, this is a space that I was determined to keep authentic. I would write from the heart. I wouldn't care about analytics or social media shares. I was just going to say the things that other sites wouldn't let me say.
And things took off.
You guys liked what I had to say and that was dope. Affirming even. After running a magazine for 4 years that I thought should have gotten a lot more support, I wasn't sure of myself as a writer anymore and even less sure of myself as an entrepreneur. So the love I received from last year's posts was felt deeply. The lights started to shine and I became addicted to them. Very quickly, I was back on the train of checking to see how often my posts were shared and where. I was territorial over my ideas, my formatting and my voice in the blogging world---ready to clock and block anyone I felt was trying to copy. And I stopped writing because I felt like I wanted to connect with people and started writing because I wanted to impress people.
So, I stepped away.
There were so many topics that I wanted to sound off on but I promised myself I wouldn't write about anything unless I could add an angle to the conversation that I hadn't seen yet. I could write as much as I wanted about pop culture happenings but I could not push publish on something that wasn't 100% genuine. 100% Iman. So July is the month that I plan to step back onto this site, renewed in my "why" and completely free of expectations. I am pacing myself. I have no lofty goals of writing here daily or even more than a few times over the next 29 days but what I do know is that whenever you see a new post on this site, you'll be getting all of me. No filters. No punchlines. Well, my wit is pretty damn reflective of me so, y'all gone get these punchlines. I'm going to engage with you all in the comments section---here or on social media. I want each post to not end with my last sentence but to continue in your group chats, in my email inbox (I know I owe a few of you responses) and in your everyday lives. I don't intend (or want) to be detached from the people who take the time to read the words I write in this space, after all, none of this works without you all engaging. I want to connect with you. I want to trade stories of breaking apart and healing back together with you. I want to share in your wins. Make you laugh. Make you cry. Make you remember a lesson you learned or forget a habit that no longer serves you. I want this to be a community. Not a dictatorship.
I will be writing for you. For me. For us. From the heart. Hopefully you'll continue rocking with it. But it's all good if you find it's not for you. Cool?
(anything you've been wanting to hear me sound off about? Shoot me a message or a comment...let me know!)