Stop Blaming Women When Men Are Trash: A Mood.

Yesterday a man, who is likely suffering from serious mental health issues, decided to wickedly destroy the lives of others. He murdered elderly Robert Goodwin, Sr. on Facebook Live in a video that has been making its way around the internet. It is horrifying and sickening---so I won't be sharing it here---but in it he reveals the "reason" for his killing spree: a woman. 

Before I could thoroughly grasp the fact that yet another untreated mental illness was causing unmeasurable pain to an innocent family I started to see posts blaming...HER. Not the man who was claiming to have murdered over a dozen more citizens but the woman. The woman. The woman who's probably at home completely shocked, scared for her own life and scrolling through her mental rolodex to locate any signs of the man she loved/s being a monster. And there they were posts saying everything from: "this is why women should stop cheating" to "she's not even cute enough to be killing people over" to, my personal favorite, "my dawg Steve tried to turn a hoe into a housewife". So, because this woman is not completely chaste or "cute enough" or agreeing to stay in an unhealthy situation--because let's face it, a man who's willing to murder people on the street to get back at you for whatever you've done is incapable of loving you the right way---Steve Stephens is completely off the hook for his actions. He's simply showing how deep his love goes. I mean...where do broken hearts go other than on a killing spree, right? 

Earlier last week, R&B crooner Tyrese, spoke candidly with several media outlets on a promo tour for his film, The Fate of the Furious. He took the time to teach women a little bit about why men are so...animalistic, if you will. Here's what he had to say:

I’m gonna tell you all right now, and this might be harsh: Sluts, skeezers, hos, tramps and overly aggressive promiscuous women, they are never without a man because they don’t have no standards. They ready to have sex with any and everything that want to have sex with them [. …] You have women that are active out in these streets, they going to lunches and dinners every night. Private planes, mega yachts, it’s cracking. They’re never without. However, it comes with a cost, you gonna put a lot of miles on yourself down there, come on.

Thanks for the tip, Black Ty. Tyrese has also authored a book, alongside RUN DMC legend, Rev Run entitled, Manology: Secrets of Your Man's Mind Revealed, stated to be a manual on how to get your man to treat you better. In that, Tyrese joins a long line of male celebrities, pastors and online personalities who preach to women in an effort to teach them how to secure, please and, of course, keep a man. Usually completely dependent on how they dress, speak, look, behave or, as Steve Harvey so eloquently said, "give out the cookies". 

The through line in all of the tomfoolery is this: women, it's all your fault.

Men literally will walk across burning coals to show everyone how a woman is to blame for every shitty thing they or someone else with a penis has done. Word to T.I., who, after years of openly cheating on his wife and spending ample time in federal prison, decided that marriage was a "distraction". Failing to cite any of his mishaps opting, instead, for running the name/reputation of the mother of his 345 children into the ground---because, of course, "she was free to go at anytime". 

*fights the air*

Here's the thing men: grow the hell up. Women are not your trash receptacles. Women are not your saviors. We don't exist to teach you how to be better. If you're a cheater---you're not that way because your wife or girlfriend isn't enough this or that. And you're not a womanizer because those women are "allowing" you to treat them that way. No, you're treating them that way because you're a man with either no moral compass, no self control or who simply just likes to swing penis around town---or maybe, you're a man with untreated emotional issues---whatever the case, it's all on you, homie. You're controlling because you have low self-esteem and probably a ton of unpacked abandonment issues not because "these hoes aint loyal". You don't respect the woman you're with not because she didn't make you wait 90 days for the "cookies" but because you don't know when you're in the presence of God---and may she have mercy on your soul. 

And, because I know your blood is boiling while you're reading this in your hoop shorts, I am a  good-looking woman with a man who loves me so this is not a "man-bashing feminist" who is working with the government on the "lesbian agenda".  No, I am simply a woman who is fed up with being told that it is my job to make sure men don't run this world into the ground. While also being told to stay in my place. To have sex but not too soon and not too much. To dress provocatively enough to catch a man's eye but not enough to provoke the rapist laying dormant in his loins. To be i-n-d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-t but not enough to make a man feel like I don't need him. To be a damsel in distress but bring something to the table so he won't think I expect him to "save a hoe". To be bold enough to show "ass with some stretch marks" but to leave something to the imagination so my husband has something to unwrap on the day that I've been waiting for since I was a little girl playing with my Barbies but that he decided he "might as well" do because I've been "holding him down".

You get me? 

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Iman Milner2 Comments